There are many things I would do for you, dear reader, not the least of which turns out to be heading to a chic Montecito party to have people feed me incredible edibles and pour me $280-a-bottle tequila to my heart's content. Yep, a-gave the office for you folks...keep reading that one till you groan with disbelief. For way back on Cinco de Mayo--it's been awhile, so perhaps I'm just getting sober--I was invited along with many people with fancier clothes, cars, and money than mine (I'm sure it's not just more money, it's fancier, too, like the presidents on it aren't even just Jackson and Franklin but Lester Young) for a deubtante ball of sorts featuring Casa Dragones and its single product, a sipping tequila that is mighty fine, indeed. It's a 100% Blue Agave Joven style, which is unusual, too, and a clever marketing move. And sure, why believe me, now that I've been bought for a mere fine party, but the tequila is incredible, from its clear-going-to-silver unbelievable color, which, of course, they call platinum because silver is for peons (like Daisy Buchanan's voice, it looks like money*) to its range of aromas and flavors, citrus to oak (yes, they oak age for you long time). Better yet it's so finely distilled that even sipping away as the servers never quite let anyone get a glass to empty, it didn't finally clock you upside your cabeza and leave you hurting for muchas dias. Is it worth $280 a bottle? When poured in Montecito gratis it is, without a doubt, and that's even on a day when a fog bank blocked the ocean view from the estate where we partied down.
As for the food, it turns out anything made really really well goes with any distilled drink made perfectly. So the passed apps, and they just kept coming--you almost had to take things from the servers just because you felt sorry for them carrying all those trays around--were heavy on seafood and light on cooking, which was bright, bracing, beautiful. Ceviches and sears and fresh scallop sliced in citrus in a slurp it up, but politely, this is a fancy party, spoon. There were tables to get tamales and tacos, and again this wasn't street food for a second. I may never have seen the face of Jeebus on my tortilla, but I have sensed his presence in ones as good as those from this party.
Then, of course, there was Mexican techno, too, as the Mexican Institute of Sound was flown in for the gig. My guess is a good half the guest list wasn't pleased, no doubt trying to figure out who let their gardeners have turntables and synthesizers, but the band was fun, and you could boogie a bit on the outdoor temp dance floor which was covered with a blownup photo of an agave plant.
As for stars, Michael Keaton was there and gave off the air of someone more or less normal. But he is pretty small--that Batman suit must have been gigantic. Alexandra Paul was there, but I don't recognize anyone from Baywatch unless they're in red bathing suits. And then there was Dennis Miller, and, alas, I failed to think of this line soon enough: "So, Dennis, now that Bin Laden is dead, can you go back to being funny?"
*You really didn't think Third Eye Blind came up with that on its own, did you?